Into the Wild Blue Yonder
by Spirit Seer
Summary: "This is all Tony's fault," America thought as he looked around the spaceship. After all, the alien standing in front of him looked exactly like Tony, even if he claimed to be an Asgard named Thor. Then three of his citizens and an unknown fourth arrived, all dressed in Air Force uniforms...


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers or Stargate SG-1. They belong to their respective owners. I am making no money off of this fanfiction. It is for entertainment purposes only.

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Into the Wild Blue Yonder

"So, uh, dude, can I ask you something? It's great spending time on your ship and all—'cause it's cool, and I always think that spaceships are awesome—but I kinda need to get home. Do you have any idea when you can drop me off?"

The alien shook his head slowly but apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I cannot take you back at this current time."

"Aw, why not, dude?" America persisted. "Aren't you one of Tony's friends? 'Cause you look a lot like him." He paused a beat, but before the alien could respond, the nation continued, "And while this is probably his idea of a joke, I was kinda on my way to a World Conference in London. Arthur will never let me hear the end of it if I'm late and my excuse is that I was kidnapped by aliens." He paused for another second, before finishing with a flourish, "Even if it's true."

Sensing an opportunity to speak, the alien replied, "I do not know this Tony of whom you speak. Is he Asgard?"

America thought for a moment. "I don't know," he answered finally. "I mean, he _looks_ like you, but he's never actually told me what he is." He shrugged. "Ah, well, I guess it doesn't matter."

There was a brief moment of silence as they both considered one another.

America broke the silence. "So, if you're not Tony's friend, what's your name? And what are we doing here?"

The alien—an Asgard, he had called himself—inclined his head toward the nation. "I am called Thor. I am a commander of the Asgard fleet." He paused for a second, and then asked, "What is your name, and what species are you? Our computer scanners tell us that you are both human… and yet not human. Of what race are you? You are unlike anything the Asgard has come into contact with."

"My name is Alfred F. Jones," America said proudly. Then he paused, shifting from one foot to the other as he thought. There was no harm in giving his human name, but was it all right to say that he was the personification of a country? To an alien who didn't know Tony? But then again, would the Asgard even know what a personification of a nation was? He did recognize the fact that he was human, so he might have had dealings with Earth before. Just because Tony crashed on Earth recently (well, recent for a nation, anyway) did not have to mean that he was the first, and Tony had implied something like that once…

The alien was waiting. "Of what species do you identify yourself with, Alfred F. Jones?" he (America presumed the Asgard was a 'he,' at any rate) said.

America threw caution to the winds. He'd solve that problem when he got there. "I—"

A whirring sound emanated suddenly from the opposite end of the ship, and America turned in surprise. "What's that?" he exclaimed. Metal rings rose up out of the floor and filled the room with light. "That's so awesome, dude!"

The light disappeared, and the rings descended back into the floor as quickly as they'd come. In their place were four people. They were dressed in camouflage fatigues and equipped with weapons—soldiers from Earth, apparently. In fact, judging by their uniforms, they appeared to be from the United States Air Force. America became excited—they were his citizens! Well, only three of them were his citizens, at any rate. Where was the fourth from?

"Owww…" a man, the oldest, moaned. He rose up slowly from the floor. "You couldn't have cut that rescue a little closer, Thor, old buddy?"

The alien inclined his head toward the newcomers. "O'Neill. I apologize. I had an… unexpected delay."

"What kind of delay?" a lady spoke up, concerned.

As the team rose slowly from the floor, all eyes turned to face the newcomer aboard the ship. "Um, hi?" America greeted. "Who are you guys?" He hadn't had enough time to glean their names, but it was just as well if they told him themselves. And if they gave a fake name, he would know.

Daniel paused for a moment, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he studied the man in front of him. Turning back to his team, he said, "Well, his accent is clearly American. The only question is: Who is he?"

Carter nodded. "He doesn't appear to be NID…" she murmured.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Um, hello?" America tried again, waving at them in an attempt to regain their attention. When this failed, he stuck his gloved hands in his jacket pockets, pouting. "Guys?" C'mon, their nation was only asking for their _name_, not their ranks and serial numbers. He could totally find out anything he wanted to know about them on his own, but he wanted to hear the answers from them.

Jack leaned in closer, scrutinizing something. His eyes widened. "Is that a World War II bomber jacket?" he exclaimed incredulously. When all eyes turned on him in surprise, he shrugged, replying, "What? I've always wanted one of those. They look cool."

America smiled. He liked this guy. "It is!" he replied excitedly. "I wear it all the time. I love it." As the comment registered, he feigned ignorance and asked, "Are you Air Force?" The team nodded, and then he exclaimed, "I knew it!" He paused for a second, and then gestured to Thor, asking, "Are you friends with this guy?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, why?" he asked slowly.

America beamed. "Awesome! I kinda need to get back home. Maybe he'll agree to take me back if you ask him instead."

"And where is 'home' for you?" Daniel asked. He would hate to assume…

"Earth," America responded happily, confirming Daniel's analysis. "Well, my house is outside of New York City, to be exact, but I hang around the White House a lot. I have a room there, too. I also have a house in Texas, California, and Alaska." He shook his head. "That's beside the point, though. I need to get to London. I was on my way there for a meeting when I got beamed up—"

"Whoa, wait a minute," Jack interrupted. "Did you just say that you have a room in the _White House_?"

America froze. He probably shouldn't have said that. "Um, did I say that? I didn't say that."

"No, you did say that," Daniel asserted. "I heard you."

"You heard wrong, then."

"No, I know I heard you say that."

America shook his head. "Did not."

"But I know I—"

"Daniel!" Jack exclaimed. When Daniel turned to O'Neill, the colonel responded, "It's ok. Whatever floats the kid's boat." He turned back to America. "Now, would you _please_ tell me what you're doing here?" He shook his head as he cut the air with his hands. "Actually, scratch that. What's your name, kid? Let's start there."

America blinked for a second, and then said with a grin, "Oh, sorry about that. My name is Alfred. Alfred F. Jones!" He pumped his fist in the air as he declared his name proudly. Then he gestured to them with a grin. "What're your names?"

"I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill of the SGC," Jack said, pointing to himself. He saw America's eyes widen, but O'Neill pointed to Carter and continued before the kid could open his mouth, "This is Major Samantha Carter," he pointed to Daniel, "Dr. Daniel Jackson," and last to the Jaffa, "and this is Teal'c."

His team returned a greeting as America said, "Awesome! Nice to meet you guys." He opened his mouth to speak, but once again, Jack cut him off.

"And, now that we have those niceties out of the way," Jack continued, "would you please tell us _now_ what you're doing here?"

America closed his mouth, the slight pout in his face telling Jack that he was put out by being cut off twice. "I'm asking myself that, too." He shrugged his shoulders, and then he stuck his gloved hands back in his jacket pockets as he grumbled, "Tony's going to get it the next time I see him, though. I swear, if Artie's mad at me because I'm late—"

"Who's Tony?" Carter asked, interrupting the nation.

"Hm?" America came out of his rant. "Oh, Tony's my alien friend. He hangs out at my house a lot. Since he looks like your friend Thor, I thought that this was a prank of his to make me late for my meeting, but apparently, the dudes don't know each other." He sighed.

There was a moment's silence, before Daniel asked, "And who is 'Artie'?"

"Artie—well, ok, his real name's Arthur, I just call him Artie—is a friend of mine who's hosting a meeting in London today. He's never going to let me hear the end of it if I'm late. Which I will be, by the time I get back," he sighed. "I'm pretty sure that I've already missed my flight to London."

Jack turned back to SG-1 as he raised an eyebrow. "What do you think of this guy?" he asked quietly.

Daniel shrugged. "I don't know, Jack. He doesn't seem dangerous, though."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I made that assumption, too. Thanks, Daniel."

Before Daniel could offer a retort, Teal'c offered, "I am not sure what he is, O'Neill, but he is not a Goauld."

"I don't sense a symbiote within him, either," Sam affirmed with a shake of her head.

"And _that_ was the answer to my question," Jack announced. "Thank you."

Sam and Teal'c nodded. Daniel huffed and turned away.

"Hey, guys!" America called. SG-1 turned at the sound of their nation's voice near the podium by Thor. "You all said that you're part of the SGC, right?"

Jack nodded slowly, unsure if the recognition was a good thing or a bad thing. "Yeah…"

"That's so cool!" America exclaimed. "After my old boss told me about you all, I wanted to go check it out, but he always vetoed the idea. He said that y'all were 'too busy to humor me,'" he said with air quotes. "Unfortunately, my current boss feels the same way. I really want to see the Stargate, though," he whined.

SG-1 froze. How did this stranger from Earth know about the Stargate? Then again, what was he doing on the ship at all? But what Jack wanted to know most was—

"Who is your 'boss'?" Sam asked before Jack could.

America grinned. Since these people were part of the SGC, they at least had high enough clearance to know who his boss was! "The President," he replied with a grin.

A moment of stunned silence greeted the nation's words. As the moment passed, America's grin wavered. Did he freak them out?

"Wait, wait!" Jack exclaimed, calling time-out with his arms. He had used that twice today already; this wasn't a good sign. "Your boss is the _President of the United States of America_?"

Understandable question to be reiterated back to him. "Um, yeah?" America replied uncertainly.

"How long has he been your 'boss'?" Daniel inquired.

Weird question. "Um, always…?"

"How long is 'always'?" Teal'c asked.

Bad question. He didn't know if they had high enough security clearance to know that he was a nation, and if he told them, and they didn't, Boss was going to get mad. Well, madder than if he just missed the World Conference meeting in London because he had been (really!) kidnapped by an alien. He might lose his hamburger rights this time. For, like, ever. "Let's go with a few years," Alfred responded evasively.

"And how long is 'a few years'?" Daniel persisted.

"Like, a few years," America replied cheekily.

"But—"

"Gah!" All eyes turned to O'Neill, who had exclaimed as he cut the air for a third time in a time-out gesture. Three times were too many for him. "Let's just stop there, ok, kids? We already know how that road will end."

There were a few collective nods, and then silence.

Surprisingly, Thor spoke up. "If I may, O'Neill."

Jack gestured for him to continue with an exhausted wave. "Of course, Thor," he said.

Thor turned to America, who in turn looked at the alien. "You said that your name is Alfred, did you not?"

America nodded. "I did. What of it?"

"What did you say that your friend's name was again?" Thor asked.

"Tony," the nation replied. "Why? I thought that you said that you didn't know him."

Thor inclined his head. "While you all were speaking, I did some research through the Asgard databases. Apparently, there is record of an Asgard that went to your planet some 30-odd Earth years ago. At the time, there had been talk that the Stargate had been unburied and used. While we were content to leave your species alone, he alone felt that, to ensure that the Goauld had not broken the treaty, he should check on the Stargate. However, contact was lost with him shortly after his arrival, and it was presumed that he perished on the journey. I am curious if he is the 'friend' of which you speak." He paused for a second, and then finished, "After all, as I was on my way to help SG-1, I made the detour toward Earth after picking up an Asgard distress call from your planet. I thought that it was strange, but I sent the rings down toward the approximate coordinates regardless. However, I picked up Alfred instead."

"So _that's_ what happened to me," America exclaimed. "No wonder that light looked familiar earlier." Then he snapped his fingers in realization. "Hey, wait. Tony did say when I first met him that the reason he was stuck on Earth was because his ship crashed. He let Area 51 keep the main ship because he claimed that it wasn't repairable, but he kept the small ship, saying that there was a chance to fix it. However, he's never succeeded. It just takes up space in my backyard in Texas."

America shrugged. "In fact, he was in a particularly bad mood this morning. Apparently, he'd been close to fixing it and when I 'distracted him.' But man, how did I distract him? He was already throwing tools and equipment everywhere when I arrived, and I just went by to tell the dude good-bye before I left to the meeting. I even offered to get him a breakfast taco and a coffee, but the dude just chucked a wrench at my head and cursed something about 'Earthling tools.'" He paused for a second, and then finished, "Although, the lights on the ship did flash momentarily, and he shouted something happily before those—what did you call them?—rings beamed me up. That makes a lot more sense now."

"Wait a moment," Sam interrupted. Jack was happy that it wasn't him for a change. "You have an Asgard and his spaceship in your _backyard_?"

"Apparently so," America replied happily. "He's been rooming with me since he got here. And he blows up my house every now and then," he complained, but then he brightened. "Maybe I should ask the dude for rent, since I can't insure against damages due to aliens. And Prez is getting kinda irritated with having to continuously repair my house due to Tony." He turned to Thor. "Hey, what kind of currency do you use, dude?"

"He has an Asgard staying in his backyard. Of course he does," Daniel repeated, throwing his hands in the air as he turned to Jack. "_Who_ is this guy again?"

"Daniel, as soon as I figure that out for _myself_, I will _happily_ share my answer with you," Jack replied sarcastically.

Daniel turned away with a groan.

A cry of exclamation came from the front of the ship. "Oh, dude, the Earth looks so awesome!" America exclaimed. He had his hands pressed against the glass like a little kid. "I've never gotten to see it from space myself before—this is so cool!"

Sam smiled tiredly. "Well, I don't know who he is, but he's certainly enthusiastic."

Jack sighed, but he offered Thor a tired smile of his own. "Thanks for the ride home, Thor."

"You are welcome, O'Neill," the Asgard replied. "Although, I hope that in the future, you will not find yourselves in a situation where I will have to do so again."

"You and me both, Thor," Jack replied. "You and me both."

"Can you _pleeeeaaaaaase _drop me off in London, dude?" America begged out from his spot by the window. "I—"

Rings surrounded Alfred, and he had disappeared before he had a chance to finish his sentence.

Jack looked at Thor. "Where'd you send the kid?"

Thor blinked. "I put him back where the original coordinates were. Should I have not?"

"No, Thor, that was fine," Jack chuckled. He both wanted and didn't want to see the kid's face when he wound up back home instead of at the 'meeting' place he kept talking about. The kid really drained him of his energy. "Just fine."

Sam spoke up, "Before we go, may I ask you something, Thor?"

"You may, Major Carter."

"If what Alfred said was correct, he's been alive a lot longer than he looks. He doesn't appear to be over 20, but he's obviously _way_ over 30 years old. He appears human, but do you know if he really is?" Or was there possibly an undocumented sarcophagus floating around the U.S. government?

The Asgard shook his head. "I was not able to ascertain that myself. The computer readings showed that he was both human and yet not human."

"And what does that mean?" Daniel asked.

"He has the genetic make-up of a human, but his body does not age like a human's does. In fact, the carbon content in his body declares that he is at least a couple of hundred years old, even if his human cells claim that he is nineteen years old."

Carter gasped. "If he's human, how could he be a couple of hundred years old? How would he be that young without a sarcophagus?" She turned to the team. "I mean, he can't be using one, because he was too… excitable, I guess. He was too _happy_."

"What is he, then?" Teal'c asked.

"I do not know," Thor replied slowly. "However, given that he has existed on your planet for this long and claims your country's leader as his own, I do not believe that he intends your species any harm. It may be in your best interests to investigate the matter. The Asgard will look into this occurrence, however, as well as this Tony that he spoke about. He may indeed be our lost comrade."

"We were going to look into the kid anyway, buddy," Jack said, "but thanks. And thanks again for the ride home."

Thor inclined his head at SG-1. Then the rings activated and transported SG-1 back to the SGC.

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A/N: So, this was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but it just kept going. I haven't decided if the next couple of chapters are more omake-like or genuine chapters, and while I know where I'd_ like_ to go, I got stuck in the middle somewhere. I'm posting this in the meantime.

Seriously, doesn't Tony resemble an Asgard?


End file.
